My first picture!!!

This is the first picture that I am posting from my new camera!!! I am soooo excited!! We went for a walk tonight and I couldn't wait to get home so I could play with the pics in PS. The first one is SOOC (Straight Out Of Camera) and the second pic is the same picture as the first one it's just after I edited it!!!

Wanna see my new toy!!!???!!!

So Wayne and I had decided that we were going to save money until June and then buy the camera that I wanted. I was fine with that, wanted it sooner but was okay with it because there was an end in sight. However, Wayne decided to be a big stud again and went ahead and bought the camera early. So today, after having Nathan help hide a bunch of fake gifts and then hiding the real ones downstairs I was able to start my hunt. It was fun and let me tell you when I found the final prize I screamed, jumped up and down, and ripped apart the wrapping paper so quickly it looked like magic...hehe. So I would like to introduce you to my new baby:



Okay so this isn't MY baby, but it's a picture that looks EXACTLY like it!!! I can't wait till we get home from church tomorrow so I can play with it again. :)

Have I Ever Told You?!?!?

Spending alone time with Wayne is soooo wonderful, and we need to do it more often, maybe not sleepovers but definately date nights. So last night while we were playing Rummikub I was thinking about some of the fun dates Wayne and I have done. Wayne is VERY romantic and is very creative and comes up with fun things to do all the time. Then I started to think about how much my life changed over 5 years ago when I met him. And then..... I finally thought about how we met, and I am sure that I haven't told many people how Wayne and I "Actually" met.

A little background info.

After highschool I decided that I wasn't ready to go to school yet, so I lived in a few different places including Seattle, SanFranscisco, Lethbridge (woohoo), Saskatoon, and then NY. I moved to NY because I was tired of living the life that I was, and I didn't want to keep going down the path that I was headed. So in NY I made some life altering changes, I found out who I REALLY was and I started living how deep in my heart I always wanted to. After almost a year of NY, my girlfriends and I decided that we were going to move back to Utah (probably because we were getting old, 22-25, and we wanted to get married, hehehe) . I moved back to Canada to get "permission" to move back to the US for work/school. When I was getting ready to leave NY my girlfriends said that I wouldn't be moving to Utah, they just had the feeling that we wouldn't be together anymore. I of course, told them they were crazy but little did I know that they really did have the right feeling.

So after a few months of being back in Saskatoon with my family I started getting bored with some of the friends I had. Lot's of my friends were living a different lifestyle than what I wanted to live, they wanted to go to the bar every night on the weekend, they were big into drinking, partying, sleeping around, and kept trying to set me up with guys that were living this lifestyle. I also hung out with a lot of YSA friends and they were fun but noone interested me in a relationship kind of way. So I decided to do something.........

Here it goes.......


I went onto Yahoo dating site, and posted a little something about myself. I NEVER thought that I would meet anyone. Well, I got a lot of responses and met a few guys but was NOT interested in any of them AT ALL!!! Then low and behold this one guy responded and he seemed really interesting.....okay...... I know, I know.....it's SOOOOO LOSERISH!!!! I can't believe that I did it, but I did and I guess Heavenly Father led me that way because I wouldn't have met Wayne any other way.

Now for the neat part. Wayne had also made an account, he was a loser back then though....just kidding!!! His account trial was up the next day and he wasn't going to renew it. He decided to check the ads one last time before the trial was over and he saw an ad about an interesting girl. So he emailed me and told me his account was closing but if I wanted I could email him at his normal email address. So I did. We emailed back and forth for a week, then we talked on the phone for a week and then decided to meet.

On the day of our meeting I went to get my nails done like I always did. However, on that day I was running late (typical me) and I didn't have time to go home and really do my hair and makeup. So I quickly drove to Joe Bean's (that's where we were meeting). I was just about to do a U-turn when I saw this hot yellow mustang(Wayne had told me he drove a yellow car) drive by with a hot guy driving it. I thought "oh I hope that's the guy" and then of course I got freaked out. I parked, got out of the car, walked over to the yellow car knocked on the window, and the hot guy looked up at me.........OHHHH my heart skipped a beat, he was SOOOO cute, and his smile....
YUMMY!!!!!

We went inside, got a hot chocolate and hot apple cider, and sat and talked. The waitress kept coming up to us and asking if we needed anything, I started to get annoyed because she wouldn't leave us alone and would come up every "5-10 minutes". Well she wasn't coming up every 5-10 minutes but more like 45-60 minutes. We were soooo engrossed with eachother that we didn't realize time was flying by. Wayne asked if I was hungry and if I wanted to go for supper. The practical side of me screamed "NO, it's time to end the date and keep him wanting more." but the emotional side of me screamed louder " Yes, he's hot, he wants to continue the date, GO WITH HIM!!!!"

We went to Boston Pizza, ordered and again talked like we had known eachother for years. In fact, Wayne was SOOOO good.... when I was talking he would put his knife and fork down and listen to every word I said. WOW!!! I remember being soooo impressed. Now I'm happy if he talks to me at dinner without food in his mouth... ;). Anyways, again people seemed to be moving in fast forward, but really we were just not paying attention. We closed down Boston Pizza, Wayne then drove me back to my car, he started my car and then we sat and talked longer in his car.

I went home totally in a daze..... could he really be THE ONE???? Why are you feeling like this, you've dated lot's of guys before, but this is different!! Wow, he's hot, I could totally make out with him.... :)

I called my girlfriends the next day, and they said, "We told you so!!!!" I wanted to see Wayne again right away. I knew "they" say not to seem desperate you should give it a week, but I couldn't wait a week. That night when he called me I asked him if he would like to get together again, he said "What about tomorrow night?" I told him that the next night my family always had the missionary's over for dinner but he was more than welcome to come over. He said"Sure".

So the next night Wayne ( the poor guy) not only had to meet my family for the first time, but also 6 missionary's. HEHE!!! Oh and remember, Wayne was not a member of the church yet, we hadn't really talked anything about it, so it was I am sure an overwhelming night. My mom asked him at some point in the evening "So, Wayne, what are your intentions with my daughter?" And he said " I'm going to marry her!!!" Looking back that was kind of creepy...heheh.... but he was totally joking and I was totally loopy so it was sweet.

We dated for 3 months, got engaged and were married 6 months later. It was fast, intense, sureal, but incredible, right, and what was suppose to happen. So even though we were big losers and met from the internet, we found eachother and I know that we were meant to, so it is all worth it.

I love you Wayne, my "geeky" internet lover!!! :)

I miss my boy!!!

Well, we sent Nathan off to Grandma and Grandpa Shutra's house for a little visit for a few days and a break for Mommy and Daddy too. Even though I LOVE having the freedom and break, I MISS him SOOOO much!!! It was so weird last night coming home from watching Wayne curl and just being able to hang out together, not once did we have to stop our game of Rummikub to get a drink for Nate or give Nate a cuddle. When he's here those small things can become annoying but when he's gone I miss them. Only 2 more sleeps and then I get to see the little man, and even though I have enjoyed sleeping in and just being lazy ;) I can't wait to see him.

:) :(

Well, because I had a lot of "fun" in grade 12 and I skipped a lot of school (which is THE only thing that I regret doing in my life) I don't have a high enough average to get into the nursing program. So after a lot of procrastination I finally started calling people and I got into the Biology 30 upgrade class offered at Siast!!! YAY!!! I am very excited!! It runs from the end of April tothe end of June, but....................

it's Monday, Wednesday, and Thursday nights from 6:45-9:45. :( :(


:( :( :(

I am soooo sad (in fact, I am crying right now) because I will not be able to see ANY of Nathan's soccer games, and this is his first year playing. I know that it's something SOOOO petty but it's times like this that making these decisions totally SUCKS!!! AHHHHH, why couldn't it be Tuesday night instead of Monday night. I know Nathan will have so much fun playing soccer and he probably won't even notice that I'm not there, but I'll know. They only have their firsts once and I have done everything in my power to always be there for those firsts.

I am probably just a hormonal, crazy woman right now, but this really does make me feel like I am not being the "best" mom I can be.

And then I stop and think about it and I KNOW that going to school and getting a better education, learning, growing, getting stability and a backup plan for our family, doing something to better me....... well, I know that this will all help me to be the best mom , woman, wife, Jackie that I can be.

Someday, I am sure I will look back at this post and laugh at myself.......it's just soccer........ and I know that I'll have SOOOO many more chances to be at his games in the future. But still....this is another bitter/sweet moments in life, right?!?

Nathan's birthday cake!!!

So when we asked Nathan what he wanted to have for a birthday cake this year he said "Dinosaurs playing hockey", hehehe!!!! What an imagination!! So that's what Nathan got. I was in charge of baking and icing the cake and Wayne was in charge of decorating it. Wayne made the nets, the hockey sticks, the boards and put the pompoms/helmets on the dinos. I think that this was the cutest cake that we have ever made... I LOVE how it turned out.

Before & During

So we thankfully have a mold free bathroom now, and things are sort of ripped down and now we are on our way to a nice new bathroom, YAY!!! Last night Wayne and Russell worked their booties off and tore out all of the yucky moldy drywall. Wayne then hooked up an air purifier which pumps ozone into the room and kills all the rest of the mold, but stinks like crazy. I have been really stressed about this whole thing because that momma bear has come out again and I will do anything to protect my child from anything, including getting sick. But thankfully everything went well and so far noone is sick so I am super happy. Now for the rest of the tear downs and then we can start building again, and then I get to go SHOPPING!!!! I can't wait to pick out flooring, a toilet, sink, faucets, etc. I know it's not the funnest thing to shop for but I am super excited!!!

Anyways, here's a few before and after pics.

Before:


After:


Before:


After:

My dreams for you!!!

This little man just turned 3 yesterday!!! Can you believe it, because I can't!! I still remember trying for almost a week every possible way to make myself go into labor. I remember walking for hours the night before we had him because I was sure that would do it. (It didn't) I remember my water breaking in the elevator on the way up to the doctor's office, that was fun :p I remember being soooo nervous but yet strangely excited as I waited to dilate fully. I vividly remember the doctor laying him on my tummy and feeling like I was dreaming. I remember looking at him, wondering who he is, who he is to become.

The last 3 years have more than flown by, I feel like I've blinked and here we are, and now I am afraid to blink again. Everyday I worry that I haven't been "good enough" for him, but yet, Heavenly Father allowed me the wonderful opportunity to help him become who he is suppose to be. Over the last couple of days, when I look at Nathan I keep thinking of things I want for him, so I've decided to document it and then hopefully someday we can look back and see where he "really" is.

So some things that I want for Nathan:

I want him to grow into a strong individual, not physically but mentally and emotionally. I want him to really know who he is and will live who he is.

I want him to have some hard times, even though it will kill me as he has to stumble and climb through the struggles, I know that it will help him to grow.

I want him to really know that he is a son of God and that he is SOOOO important. I want him to know that he is not only important to Heavenly Father but to his Mom, Dad, grandparents, cousins, aunties, uncles, and friends.

I want Nathan to someday find the wonderful woman that is out there for him, and that she will love and appreciate him for who he is. I want Nathan to be a wonderful husband, and father.

I want Nathan to be kind, gentle, caring, but fun, crazy, and just a great person to be around.

I want Nathan to be whoever he really wants to be, and not what others think he should be.

But mostly, I want Nathan to be truly happy. I want him to have everything that Heavenly Father has in store for him and more.

I love this little boy and even though I don't want him to age one more day, I can't wait to see who he is going to become.

These are my dreams for you Nate, I love you!!!!