This morning Nathan and I were cuddling, watching cartoons in my bed and he looked up at me and said "Mommy, I want you to leave, I don't love you."
{Insert tears here}
Oh my freakin' goodness, are you kidding me?!? I knew when we hit the hormonal teenager phase that I would probably hear those words, but not out of my sweet, innocent, 3 year olds mouth.
My heart seriously broke.
Should I send him for a time out? Should I get up and leave? Should I cry, get mad, laugh? Ohhhh... I think I am going to cry....don't cry....teach....
I told Nathan that saying he doesn't love me and wants me to leave really hurts my heart and makes me sad and he shouldn't say that anymore. Of course, he said "Why?" So again, I explained how it hurts Mommy's heart and he doesn't want to make Mommy sad does he? I then was practically suffocated from his big hug and kisses.
I know that he doesn't really know what he was saying, and I know that he wasn't trying to hurt me. I know that he was just expressing something that he was feeling, maybe he really did want me to leave so Daddy would be here and they could spend some alone time together.
I don't know.
What I do know though is that no matter if Nathan "loves" me or not, I will ALWAYS love him, I will ALWAYS be here for him no matter what....that I know....so sorry little guy, your stuck with me forever whether you like it or not.....
3 comments:
Aww thats sad!! He must be three or four Lauren does the same thing to me I just say well honey your stuck with me forever!! And I love you more then you know!! That usually gets a I'm sorry I didn't mean it I love you mom!! But it sure hurts when they say it!! Sorry sucks to be a mom sometimes eh j/k even those times are worth it!!
You are not alone.
I was visiting a friend in Calgary one time, and she has a 3 year old and a 1 1/2 yr old. It was her bday. As her son came down the stairs with every step he said "I hate you" "I don't love you" She broke down crying and told me that it has been happening everday for the past week and for no reason, and today was her bday and she just couldn't handle it.
So I think its their way of expressing that they are frusterated with us, but do not know how powerful the words that they are speaking are. They may be mad, or don't want you beside them, they dont been they hate you, or dont love you. They just don't know the impact it makes on us moms, and they hear these words evrywhere.
OH jackie thanks for the comment you made me cry I know exactely how you feel when you get to the point of doubting so much! When you want something so bad and seems as everybody and anybody is pg! All I can say is I hope and pray that that it happens soon for you! But I do know that sometimes HF has a different plan for us or direction and when it feels like your prayers aren't getting past the cealing [sp] its really hard that's where I found that the scripture were my greatest strength cause its tempting to take a different path and say fine! But we do learn and we do grow through these really hard difficult times! Praying for ya!!ttyl
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